Mean Girls

My best friend Kalinda and I get into so much trouble ;) We rule the school, our town, and have every man we meet wrapped around our little fingers. Nothing it too hot for Kalinda and I to handle. And best of all . . . we have the best asses out of all the other girls around. Now that’s what’s called social hierarchy.

And Kalinda and I? We’re at the top.

What does that mean for everyone else? Well, that’s a funny story. To our Daddys, it means that we get anything and everything we want from them. Men have always loved me. For some reason, they’re just drawn to my sinister grace and seductive charm. But my girlish innocence always has a way of looping them in when their thumbs slide into the loops of my jeans, and I let out a high-pitched giggle they’re sure to be smitten with.

Kalinda is a real dumb blonde. Like, I love her. I really do. But the girl is a few cards short of a full deck, if you know what I mean. Though she does have knockers to die for. I guess that’s why men are so ready to throw all of their money at us. I mean, they get one look at us, and they’re on their knees, wallet in mouth, ready to be drained. We take our grown-up male pets on walks sometimes through the mall.

We’re doing them a huge favor by just allowing them the privilege of our company, not the mention the fact that other people will see them with us in public!

Of course, they get the opportunity to watch us trying on rack after rack of designer clothing. Occasionally, we even throw in a babydoll nighty or a string bikini. You know, just to whet their appetites ;) At the end of the day, it’s Kalinda and I who are in control. We’re the teenage Mean Girls who you don’t want to mess with, and we’ll do anything to get what we want.

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