I had the most hilarious time with my brother last night! Well, actually, the hilarious part wasn’t until this morning, but let me explain what happened.
So we all went out as a family last night, celebrating our parents’ anniversary. My brother and I ended up getting totally sloshed drunk. Unfortunately, given that I got drunk, I had driven there, but it ended up being really “fortunately” because it meant I had to take the bus back with my brother to his place.
Anyway, we got up to his room, and he was totally piss drunk, and he kept forgetting who I was. He started acting like I was just some trashy ho he had picked up at the bar, and he kept forgetting my name. I slapped him and told him, “You ass, I’m your sister!” but he kept pretending to not know who I was. I finally figured he had to be pulling my leg, until we got into bed. And he put on a condom! He never uses a jimmy hat with me! I tried to tell him to put that shit away, but he insisted that he had to be safe, that he was only barebacked with his special “JJ”, and I had to be a good bitch and practice safe sex. Whatever. I was too drunk, I didn’t care, I just wanted him to fuck me.
Well, he was waaaaaaaaay too drunk to perform. He got the condom on alright, and he kinda limp-dicked me for a bit, but it was totally unsatistfying, and then he has the gall to fall asleep on me! I thought he was just resting, but before I knew it, he’s just got his head down on my tits and he’s drooling on them! That son of a bitch! What a jack ass. *sigh* Whatever. I shove him off of me, and he keeps on snoring away, still with the condom on his limp-ass cock.
Anyway, that’s not the funny part. I was annoyed, but I was also blitzed and tired, so I fell asleep. In the middle of the night, though, he wakes up, clearly totally hungover and still somewhat drunk, ‘cuz he ends up crashing into his dresser and waking me up. I end up watching as he goes into the bathroom, still with the condom on his cock, which just looks like a pathetic little sorry sack of sadness just dangling there between his legs.
Clearly, he’d forgotten about it, though, because – and I couldn’t believe this – he goes into the bathroom and starts pissing – without removing the condom! As I lay there watching, not sure if I’m dreaming this hilarious scene, I watch as the bottom of the condom starts filling up like a water balloon with his piss!
It finally seems to dawn on him that he’s pissing, but he’s not hearing the pee hitting the water, because he looks down, and he yelps like a little girl! I start cracking up as I watch him almost trip over his own dorky feet as he tries to make his way over to the tub, just in time for the condom full of piss to break loose and splatter into the tub, spraying pee all over him and everything else.
The look on his face was priceless! It certainly woke him up.
Serves him right for forgetting who he’s with! Bet next time, he’ll listen when I tell him to fuck me bare or he’d better not dare!
Jolene
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